Rapport - connect with anybody

Rapport refers to the connection you share with the person you are coaching (or anybody rather). Rapport is necessary as it puts the person at ease! When you share rapport with him, it allows him to share freely, and be himself. More importantly, he’ll be open to coaching!! You can take him from where he is to where he ought to be. Rapport is a match between people, in physical position, their movements or their voice (such as both people having hands folded, both speaking in a low tone, etc.).

Want to know the power of rapport? Watch people who get along well. The rapport they share is almost shocking! Next time, watch a couple walking together. Notice their feet. They walk in the same pace, in the same way. Watch two friends sitting at a coffee shop having a good time (usually when their connection is at the highest), and watch how they sit. Is there a match? What about their voices? Anywhere a strong connection exists, you’ll see rapport present!

How do you establish rapport?

There are quite a few ways :

1. Voice – Is his voice at a low pitch or high pitch? How loud is it? How fast or slow does he speak?

2. Physical position – How is he sitting? How are his feet and hands placed? Is his head upright, or is he largely looking down? Is he leaning forward?

3. Breathing – Is his breathing shallow or heavy?

4. Movement – If he moves, you move. You don’t have to necessarily match his position.

5. Conversation – Sometimes it can just be a conversation – something humourous or a topic he connects with!

You can use rapport to completely shift the person’s state! If his breathing is heavy because he’s upset, you can slow it down by matching his breathing at first and slowly shifting yours.

Results or explanations for no results

Been a mantra for myself and many..simple, definitely not easy. Jump on either side every now and then. Check out Rajesh Setty's blog on the same.

http://blog.lifebeyondcode.com/2008/02/24/do-you-have-results-or-explanations-for-no-results/

Do you give a damn?

Do you really? It’s quite odd, we probably ignore this question. The truth is, we’d love to rush into a “yes, I mean, come on..” . Why ask something that would create doubt? This question was for me to confront reality. Reviewing my month, the answer was no. I cared about me. And it reflected in my performance. I didn’t care. My coaching wasn’t powerful, I wasn’t helping anybody, and I definitely wasn’t helping myself.

The one thing I’ve heard through the last couple of days involved one getting stuck in shifting a person’s performance. The real question is do you care enough to make it happen? Is his life important to you? Is his breakthrough important to you? If a family member were in trouble, wouldn’t you find a way to deal with the issue regardless of the circumstance?

Producing breakthroughs for your people start and end with an unshakeable stand. When stuck in shifting a team’s performance, your stand is probably missing. The good news is we generally do care. Asking yourself that question just reminds you to. Do you care?

Freedom of choice

The context for this blog article is situations where clients stay in an indecisive state.

The coach simply creates an environment where freedom, power and possibility are available. At no point must the coach have an expectation from the person. Coaches operate from the paradigm of giving the person freedom of choice. The lines mentioned above are a biggie.

The beauty of coaching lies in it being absolutely non- judgemental. The truth is coaches create a huge difference just by suspending judgement. The biggest fear that people have is being judged (well, atleast one of the fears). By giving them freedom of choice, personal opinions are what they are – personal. They’re yours. They aren’t right, they aren’t wrong. Just yours.

A coach’s job is to have people see the choices available and the consequences of making a choice. More importantly, a coach shows them something essential – that they can choose right now, any time they want.

Confession : I throw in opinions all the time. I just let people know that they are opinions, not the truth.

Why coaching (and why you need to coach)

Because..

People have choices and they just need to know..

A company can have the best strategy, but you can't do anything without the best (of) people..

Leaders do it anyway..

Incremental growth sucks..

People matter..

Add on!

Questions

Questions. For some reason I avoided taking this on. I figured this had been a cliché in my life. Questions. I’ve dealt with that long enough, there must be SOMETHING else I could start this blog with. And I realised I was being stupid. Questions are fundamental to breakthroughs. Questions are fundamental to coaching and shifting businesses, people, and our lives altogether. There’s no better way to start this blog.

“The quality of our questions determine the quality of our life”, a favourite, quoted by Tony Robbins, fits the bill. If you’d like to put this principle to test, it’s pretty easy. But before we do that, you’ve got to get aware of one thing ; you ask yourself questions all the time. ALL the time. And right now, you’re probably asking yourself if you do. The brain works with questions. I’m not going to explain that, I don’t intend for this blog to be THAT long. You’re just going to have to take my ( and every book that talks about it) word for it.

First off, here’s a question that most people ask ; What’s wrong with me? Let’s analyse this. Now, what answer to that question could POSSIBLY have me live a great life? No matter what the answer is, It's going to mess me up. Here’s a second question that’s pretty common : Can I really do this? The answer is pretty simple. It’s a yes or a no. So basically, with that question, there’s a 50% chance that it’ll work out the way I want it to. How could I make a million dollars? Now here’s a question that works. I have no idea what the answer is, but whatever it is, it’s a new way to make a million dollars. What questions do you most often ask yourself? The easiest way to shift your life and anybody else is through the questions you ask. I doubt there’s an easier way. But hey.. What if there is one?